I'm Just a Little Bit Caught in the Middle

If I was a Sim, I'd most definitely have the Ambitious Trait.

Disregard the first part of that description and focus on the second. I tend to get really, really anxious when things aren't progressing or I feel like I'm not doing anything to improve myself career-wise. I think that's why I've been throwing myself into all these extracurricular/volunteering opportunities lately. I'm a part of my university's Peer Networking group, have just been employed as a U@Uni Ambassador, signed up for The Big Lift and am still doing my Marketing Communications internship 2 days a  week.

But you know what? The anxiety isn't going away and I actually think it's growing.

If I had to pin it down, I would say it's because I still haven't got an actual PR internship under my belt. And PR internships are quite competitive (even though they're unpaid). I also feel a teensy bit discouraged because I've applied for 2 or 3 now and none of them have offered me an interview. To make matters worse, it seems like a lot of the people in my course have already taken on and completed 2 or 3 of these, either during their gap year or in the time they've spent at uni.

Because a lot of the girls who do PR come from middle class/well-off families, I feel like they may already have some pre-established networks to rely on when it comes to finding internships. So many people I've talked to have told me about an aunt who's worked in PR for so and so years or an uncle who's head of communications at this big company. I'm not in any way condemning people who rely on networks - if you've got that connection, you SHOULD be making the most out of it. I think I just feel a little big disadvantaged in that I come from a background where I've got no-one who works in a remotely similar profession and this makes me feel a little bit unsupported.

I just feel like I'm in stasis right now, stuck in an internship which I should've given up ages ago and not being able to find a new one that will really let me learn something related to my course. If I step back from it all though, I guess there are worse things that could happen and you know, I could be in a worse place. But it's a tendency of mine to stress myself out. I just can't help thinking five steps ahead. I feel like I need to map out my whole life and have a clear direction of where I'm going.