Denial

I've been in denial these past two weeks. I've been in denial about uni, about assignments, about current affairs, about work and about the future in general. Now all these things are coming back with a vengeance, kind of like an unstoppable tsunami wave of utter crapness (crapocity? crapation?).

I can't say I've wasted my holidays though. I mean, I did catch up on some of my favourite shows. I watched the latest episodes of Doctor Who (which were kind of boring to be honest), True Blood (still stuck somewhere in Season 4), The Walking Dead (for a tv show about a zombie apocalypse, there really isn't much going on) and Game of Thrones (need MOAARRR of this stuff). Oh, and I also started Grey's Anatomy. Can't say I'm addicted but it is interesting. Do a lot of people watch this show and then decide to become surgeons? Even I had a moment there where I thought, "hospital life isn't actually that bad!" ....And then I remembered my hate for science and quickly scrapped that dream.

 

Last few episodes of Doctor Who weren't that great but this moment was cute.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I had chosen to take the science path in high school. The only reason I didn't choose it in years 11 and 12 was because I'd hated the class and the teacher - not because of a disinterest in the subject. What would I do be doing right now if I had taken it up? Would I have taken UMAT? Would I have aimed for the med field? Would I be happier than I am right now?

Probably. Something tells me that even accounting would make me happier at this point.

Oh past Cynthia, if only you could see me now.

Moving on: I'm doing my last ever piano exam in a few days. My lessons are coming to an end - all ten years of them. And all for what? A piece of A4 paper which I can frame and hang in the living room? I'm not even doing my Associate levels so I don't think I'd be able to teach. Okay, I shouldn't be too cynical. I love piano and I love playing music so it hasn't all been a waste. I'll also miss my teacher who I've had since I was eight. Eight! Can you imagine?

I still remember my first lesson with her. I literally spent 30 minutes just pressing the C key. I pressed it softly, I pressed it loudly, I pressed it really quickly and I pressed it slooowwwwly. I also pressed it to the rhythm of "Mary Had a Little Lamb". I didn't know at the time, but my teacher must've had a whole lotta patience to be sitting down with a girl of eight years, watching her repeatedly attack the C key on a piano for 30 minutes straight. Good times, good times.