During years 6 and 7, I went through a novelist phase. I blame this on the documentary I saw on J.K. Rowling. (You can watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6-6zaa4NI4). I wanted to be her. I wanted to have her success. I wanted to create this fantastical world that would be loved and appreciated by people from all around the world. I didn't think about the logistics behind it. Being a novelist is hard guys. You have to find a way to support yourself while you're writing. And even when your books are getting published, the money grants you receive are barely enough to live on. So there went that dream.
My cousin was the first one to suggest I pursue journalism. It was a while ago but I'm pretty sure his exact words were: "You like writing don't you? Go do journalism. You'll be able to write lots of shit."
^ Yep. That was the moment guys.
I'm not saying I went through high school with a career in journalism solidified in my mind. At the same time though, it was one of those things that you were always subconsciously contemplating. When people asked me, "What do you want to do after high school?", I would reply with: "I don't know. Maybe journalism." Then in September of 2012, I went to UTS' Open Day, attended the journalism talk, got fired up about all the things I would do and all the people I would meet and voila! Journalism it was.
When I look back, life has consisted of disillusionment after disillusionment. It seems like life isn't about discovering more opportunities - it's about increasingly being faced with the unattainability of your dreams.
Fast forward to now.
I'm at the end of my first semester of university and looking back, these last few months have been some of the most stressful, depressing and confusing ones of my life. I have cried, I have wallowed and I have laughed... about what a terrible choice journalism was.
Part of it probably had to do with starting university though. And to be honest, it wasn't always bad. The content was interesting at times and I made some really good friends.
But when I look at myself and ask the question: "Is journalism something you'd be happy pursuing for the rest of your life?", the answer is no.
No, I don't have the same passion for news/current affairs that everyone else has in the course.
No, I'm not idealistic - I don't want to use my writing to change the world, create conflict and expose corruption. I would love to use my writing to create fictional worlds but if you scroll up to one of my earlier paragraphs, you would see that isn't a viable option for me.
No, I don't want to go up to random people in the street and ask them what's happening that would be worth reporting on.
No, I don't want to be overworked and underpaid.
No, I don't want to enter an industry with so much job insecurity.
No. Just no. Journalism isn't going to make me happy, no matter how hard I try to conjure up the passion for it.
So that brings us to now. I've decided to transfer from Journalism into Public Communications at UTS. It's basically an advertising/marketing/public relations course. You do two core Pub Comm subjects and then choose which area you want to focus on (either Advertising or Public Relations). These are the reasons I've come up with:
- It is much less stressful than journalism
- If you get a job in PR, chances are your pay will be higher. I know money isn't everything but from what I've learnt in the journalism course, you can barely make a living out of a journalist's salary (unless you're mega successful)
- I would rather be the one generating or pitching the news than the person writing it
- PR requires a lot of writing. I like writing so that wouldn't be a problem
- There is still a little bit of creative liberty involved in PR - but it's obviously not as exciting as journalism
- You've still got contact with the world of media
- There is still potential to travel, maybe
- More job stability
- It's not limited to just one thing. PR encompasses a really big field. It may involve writing press releases, communicating with other businesses, planning events, that type of thing.
- You have to be organized and be able to multitask in PR. I think I can do that.
I understand PR also has the potential to be a stressful job. But at least it won't feel as invasive as journalism. After all, you're not there to create conflict. You're there to minimize it. I would rather try to get someone to like me than set out to antagonize people. I also understand that to do PR, you need to be a big people person. I have to be honest, I have had trouble with the people side of journalism. That is partly due to my naturally introverted personality but it's also because I haven't felt entitled/qualified to talk to my sources. I think (emphasis on the think) that if was to do PR, that problem wouldn't be as big of a deal because at least it would actually feel like part of my job. I would have the company name behind me and that would make it feel less invasive. Also, I really do need to get over my shyness. It is a useless trait that won't get me anywhere in life.
It might seem like I'm talking about this PR thing with confidence but in reality, I am TERRIFIED of making the wrong choice. I am absolutely, scared out of my socks terrified that PR will turn out even less suitable for me than journalism. After all, I spent the last year of high school absolute convinced of my resolve to do journalism.
I have to do something though. I'm not going to spend any more time torturing myself in the course when my gut tells me I'm in the wrong one.
So here's hoping it all works out. Here's to hoping I'm not making another terrible mistake. If I am, well I don't know what I would do. I've said it before but I'll say it again: adulthood sucks shit.
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