Playlist Poetry - aka poetry composed entirely of song titles from my phone. Don't judge. Train rides are long and I get bored when there isn't someone to talk to. Anyway, see if you can identify which bands/artists, the titles belong to. I've put the answers below.
1)
You / Make Me Wanna Die
Without a Word / You've Ruined Me
Why Did You Come Here? / You / Animal!
It's Time / You / Let It Go
2)
Hang On / Natalie!
The Ladder / Sort Of / Stuck In the Middle.
3)
The Lightning Strike / Set Me On Fire
Oh My Stars! / It Hurts!
Please / Don't Forget / My Medicine.
4)
To Whom It May Concern
I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You.
Believe Me, / I'd Rather Dance With You.
We Belong Together, / You and Me.
5)
You / Cheated / Again!
Fxxk U / Sam Malone
6)
Rumour Has It / Your Ex-Lover Is Dead
Arabella / Read All About It.
R.I.P / Sam Malone.
7)
Voices In My Head / Wake Me Up.
Disorientated, / Breathless, / Eyes Wide Open.
Demons! / Can't Stop / Creatures Of The Night.
8)
Andy: I Love You
Sylvia: Have We Met?
Andy: I Wanna Be Yours
Sylvia: Who Am I To You?
Andy: The Girl, / My Oldest Friend, / The One That Got Away.
Sylvia: Believe Me / I'm Not That Girl
Andy: Impossible
Sylvia: Snap Out Of It
Andy: My Love, / I Was Wrong. / Let's Forget All The Things That We Said. / God Only Knows / The Power Of Love. / Marry Me?
Sylvia: Marry You??
Andy: R u Mine?
Sylvia: Here We Go Again. / Just / Go, / Creep.
Andy: I'll Never Forget You / Goodbye Baby
Answers
1)
Switchfoot / The Pretty Reckless
Birdy / Norah Jones
Jung Yup / The Pretty Reckless / Neon Trees
Imagine Dragons / Switchfoot / Idina Menzel (Frozen - Disney)
2)
Plumb / Bruno Mars
Andrew Belle / Ingrid Michaelson / Lenka
3)
Snow Patrol / Bella Ferraro
Andrew Belle / 2NE1
Pete Murray / Demi Lovato / The Pretty Reckless
4)
The Civil Wars
Black Kids
Celia Pavey / Kings of Convenience
Mariah Carey / Olivia Ong
5)
Switchfoot / Boys Like Girls / Bruno Mars ft. Natasha Bedingfield
Ga-In / City and Colour
6)
Adele / Stars
The Arctic Monkeys / Professor Green ft. Emeli Sande
Rita Ora ft. Tinie Tempah / City and Colour
7)
Bruno Mars / Ed Sheeran
Delta Goodrem / Corinne Bailey Rae / Gotye
Imagine Dragons / CNBLUE / Janet Devlin
8)
Andy - Last Dinosaurs
Sylvia - Loveholics
A: 2NE1
S: Toy
A: Arctic Monkeys
S: Janet Devlin
A: City and Colour / Andrew Belle / Katy Perry
S: Celia Pavey / Idina Menzel (Wicked)
A: James Arthur
S: Arctic Monkeys
A: Sia / Sleeperstar / Julia Stone / Beach Boys / Gabrielle Aplin / Jason Derulo
S: Bruno Mars
A: Arctic Monkeys
S: Demi Lovato / Radiohead / The Civil Wars / Radiohead
A: Birdy / Miss A
*******
Shit son, why is there so much pop on my phone?
Dear Future Cynthia,
I hope by now you would've learnt to stop lying to yourself (and by extension, lying to others). I mean, you're not even a particularly good liar. In fact, you're fucking terrible. Everything you think and feel is projected onto your face; it's no wonder they always vote you out within the first two rounds of mafia.
But yes, I do wish you would stop lying to yourself. Stop telling yourself (and other people) you're fine with something when clearly, you're not. Stop trying to mould yourself into something different when we all know that's not who you are. And most importantly of all, stop pretending you don't want something when the act of doing so is slowly eating you up inside.
I wish you would stop doing that thing - when you try to cover up your real thoughts by smiling it off or saying you totally get it. Because actually no, you know what, you don't get it and neither do you really want to accept it. So dear Future Cynthia, stop saying too little by saying too much. Seriously. It's redundant and counter-productive.
Finally, Future Cynthia needs to stop with the extreme doormat imitation. It is becoming tiresome and really, all you're getting is a whole lot of shit stuck to you. You've always had a tendency to go with the flow and because you're such an airhead, sometimes you don't realise how much of a hole you've dug for yourself until it's too late. And why are you so allergic to the word 'no'? Imagine how much pain you could've saved yourself if you'd said no to the contract extension or, my gosh, to accelerated History Extension (actually the reason I stayed in that class had 0% to do with learning about appeasement and 100% to do with something else lol).
I hope that one day when Future Cynthia goes through her blog archives, she will see this post and think about how much she's changed. (Although let's be honest, only a person willing to cringe themselves to death would actually brave the treacherous and infested depths of their own blog archives). I hope that she's much more confident, self-assured and capable of going after what she wants. Because I think she's pretty cool and awesome - she just has trouble saying what she really wants to say.
I just realised that I wrote a whole post about being more honest and direct to people...and kind of ended up writing the most indirect and ambiguous letter to myself. What the actual fuck Cynthia. Like, can you not?
I hope by now you would've learnt to stop lying to yourself (and by extension, lying to others). I mean, you're not even a particularly good liar. In fact, you're fucking terrible. Everything you think and feel is projected onto your face; it's no wonder they always vote you out within the first two rounds of mafia.
But yes, I do wish you would stop lying to yourself. Stop telling yourself (and other people) you're fine with something when clearly, you're not. Stop trying to mould yourself into something different when we all know that's not who you are. And most importantly of all, stop pretending you don't want something when the act of doing so is slowly eating you up inside.
I wish you would stop doing that thing - when you try to cover up your real thoughts by smiling it off or saying you totally get it. Because actually no, you know what, you don't get it and neither do you really want to accept it. So dear Future Cynthia, stop saying too little by saying too much. Seriously. It's redundant and counter-productive.
Finally, Future Cynthia needs to stop with the extreme doormat imitation. It is becoming tiresome and really, all you're getting is a whole lot of shit stuck to you. You've always had a tendency to go with the flow and because you're such an airhead, sometimes you don't realise how much of a hole you've dug for yourself until it's too late. And why are you so allergic to the word 'no'? Imagine how much pain you could've saved yourself if you'd said no to the contract extension or, my gosh, to accelerated History Extension (actually the reason I stayed in that class had 0% to do with learning about appeasement and 100% to do with something else lol).
I hope that one day when Future Cynthia goes through her blog archives, she will see this post and think about how much she's changed. (Although let's be honest, only a person willing to cringe themselves to death would actually brave the treacherous and infested depths of their own blog archives). I hope that she's much more confident, self-assured and capable of going after what she wants. Because I think she's pretty cool and awesome - she just has trouble saying what she really wants to say.
*********
I just realised that I wrote a whole post about being more honest and direct to people...and kind of ended up writing the most indirect and ambiguous letter to myself. What the actual fuck Cynthia. Like, can you not?
If I was a Sim, I'd most definitely have the Ambitious Trait.
Disregard the first part of that description and focus on the second. I tend to get really, really anxious when things aren't progressing or I feel like I'm not doing anything to improve myself career-wise. I think that's why I've been throwing myself into all these extracurricular/volunteering opportunities lately. I'm a part of my university's Peer Networking group, have just been employed as a U@Uni Ambassador, signed up for The Big Lift and am still doing my Marketing Communications internship 2 days a week.
But you know what? The anxiety isn't going away and I actually think it's growing.
If I had to pin it down, I would say it's because I still haven't got an actual PR internship under my belt. And PR internships are quite competitive (even though they're unpaid). I also feel a teensy bit discouraged because I've applied for 2 or 3 now and none of them have offered me an interview. To make matters worse, it seems like a lot of the people in my course have already taken on and completed 2 or 3 of these, either during their gap year or in the time they've spent at uni.
Because a lot of the girls who do PR come from middle class/well-off families, I feel like they may already have some pre-established networks to rely on when it comes to finding internships. So many people I've talked to have told me about an aunt who's worked in PR for so and so years or an uncle who's head of communications at this big company. I'm not in any way condemning people who rely on networks - if you've got that connection, you SHOULD be making the most out of it. I think I just feel a little big disadvantaged in that I come from a background where I've got no-one who works in a remotely similar profession and this makes me feel a little bit unsupported.
I just feel like I'm in stasis right now, stuck in an internship which I should've given up ages ago and not being able to find a new one that will really let me learn something related to my course. If I step back from it all though, I guess there are worse things that could happen and you know, I could be in a worse place. But it's a tendency of mine to stress myself out. I just can't help thinking five steps ahead. I feel like I need to map out my whole life and have a clear direction of where I'm going.
Disregard the first part of that description and focus on the second. I tend to get really, really anxious when things aren't progressing or I feel like I'm not doing anything to improve myself career-wise. I think that's why I've been throwing myself into all these extracurricular/volunteering opportunities lately. I'm a part of my university's Peer Networking group, have just been employed as a U@Uni Ambassador, signed up for The Big Lift and am still doing my Marketing Communications internship 2 days a week.
But you know what? The anxiety isn't going away and I actually think it's growing.
If I had to pin it down, I would say it's because I still haven't got an actual PR internship under my belt. And PR internships are quite competitive (even though they're unpaid). I also feel a teensy bit discouraged because I've applied for 2 or 3 now and none of them have offered me an interview. To make matters worse, it seems like a lot of the people in my course have already taken on and completed 2 or 3 of these, either during their gap year or in the time they've spent at uni.
Because a lot of the girls who do PR come from middle class/well-off families, I feel like they may already have some pre-established networks to rely on when it comes to finding internships. So many people I've talked to have told me about an aunt who's worked in PR for so and so years or an uncle who's head of communications at this big company. I'm not in any way condemning people who rely on networks - if you've got that connection, you SHOULD be making the most out of it. I think I just feel a little big disadvantaged in that I come from a background where I've got no-one who works in a remotely similar profession and this makes me feel a little bit unsupported.
I just feel like I'm in stasis right now, stuck in an internship which I should've given up ages ago and not being able to find a new one that will really let me learn something related to my course. If I step back from it all though, I guess there are worse things that could happen and you know, I could be in a worse place. But it's a tendency of mine to stress myself out. I just can't help thinking five steps ahead. I feel like I need to map out my whole life and have a clear direction of where I'm going.
Just kidding. University isn't actually that shit this semester. It's partly because I've got buddies in all 3 of my classes (all that peer-networking and catching up late last year finally paid off!) and partly because I've just significantly lowered my expectations for university. Sad but true.
The main problem last year was that I just expected too much. I expected to love every single one of my subjects. I expected to be fully immersed in campus life. I expected a certain type of people to be in my classes. AND I EXPECTED TO MEET AND BEFRIEND LOTS OF CUTE GUYS.
Clearly I hadn't thought it through properly. If I did, I would've realised that communications is the last place on earth you would go to find a straight guy. Actually, let's just say it's the last place on earth you would go to find a guy. Period.
But anyway, let's not linger any longer on the painful ignorance of Cynthia. Let's talk about university and what I found most surprising during my last two days there.
1) Chinese classes are fun. Okay, maybe I'm jumping the gun here since I've only had like one of these but hey, it was a pretty cool lesson. The teacher is a really nice lady who's got a lot of infectious enthusiasm for teaching the language. One of the first things she did was tell us about her students who are now doing their In-Country study and how they're posting pictures of travel and dumplings on their Facebook page.
It's also very refreshing to have classmates that are not from Communications for once. You don't understand until you've done Comms but it's not exactly a faculty you would call....diverse. Let's just say there's a certain um, type, in Communications, (PR in particular). We're talking people that are mostly well-off, fashionable/chic, freakishly well-connected (e.g. family members who work and socialise in media circles) and for someone like me, a teensy bit unapproachable. I'm generalizing to a terrible extent here but it's also quite true. In Chinese though, you've got students from business, law, nursing, etc. And they all just seem so much more approachable.
2) I'm in Building 2 a lot. And by extension, building 1 as well. It's just surprising because last year, I was barely in/near the tower. The downside though is that I've got no classes in that fancy schmancy Business/Law building. Dammit.
3) I know and recognize people. Mostly from my classes last year but also from extra things like peer-networking or club activities. It's such a change from last year when I would walk into a lecture or class and wonder who to sit next to.
4) I have textbooks to buy. Urgh, my money. It's disappearing faster than the free creme brulees at TK Something.
5) My Foundations in International Studies class is made up of 85% Communications kids. Which is extremely saddening to me since it was supposed to be the only subject (apart from Chinese) where you will get students from different faculty backgrounds. GO AWAY COMMUNICATIONS, WHY ARE YOU SO OBSESSED WITH ME??
6) There is even less green space at UTS than ever before. No really. They got rid of that green lawn behind the tower, poured concrete over it and stuck in a few plants. I did hear that an even bigger lawn is in development though so maybe that's why they decided to get rid of the somewhat-barren-and-more-yellow-than-green space.
7) There haven't been any emergency evacuations yet. But this is UTS *knock on wood*
And that's all I can come up with so far. Until next time then?
The main problem last year was that I just expected too much. I expected to love every single one of my subjects. I expected to be fully immersed in campus life. I expected a certain type of people to be in my classes. AND I EXPECTED TO MEET AND BEFRIEND LOTS OF CUTE GUYS.
Clearly I hadn't thought it through properly. If I did, I would've realised that communications is the last place on earth you would go to find a straight guy. Actually, let's just say it's the last place on earth you would go to find a guy. Period.
But anyway, let's not linger any longer on the painful ignorance of Cynthia. Let's talk about university and what I found most surprising during my last two days there.
1) Chinese classes are fun. Okay, maybe I'm jumping the gun here since I've only had like one of these but hey, it was a pretty cool lesson. The teacher is a really nice lady who's got a lot of infectious enthusiasm for teaching the language. One of the first things she did was tell us about her students who are now doing their In-Country study and how they're posting pictures of travel and dumplings on their Facebook page.
It's also very refreshing to have classmates that are not from Communications for once. You don't understand until you've done Comms but it's not exactly a faculty you would call....diverse. Let's just say there's a certain um, type, in Communications, (PR in particular). We're talking people that are mostly well-off, fashionable/chic, freakishly well-connected (e.g. family members who work and socialise in media circles) and for someone like me, a teensy bit unapproachable. I'm generalizing to a terrible extent here but it's also quite true. In Chinese though, you've got students from business, law, nursing, etc. And they all just seem so much more approachable.
2) I'm in Building 2 a lot. And by extension, building 1 as well. It's just surprising because last year, I was barely in/near the tower. The downside though is that I've got no classes in that fancy schmancy Business/Law building. Dammit.
3) I know and recognize people. Mostly from my classes last year but also from extra things like peer-networking or club activities. It's such a change from last year when I would walk into a lecture or class and wonder who to sit next to.
4) I have textbooks to buy. Urgh, my money. It's disappearing faster than the free creme brulees at TK Something.
5) My Foundations in International Studies class is made up of 85% Communications kids. Which is extremely saddening to me since it was supposed to be the only subject (apart from Chinese) where you will get students from different faculty backgrounds. GO AWAY COMMUNICATIONS, WHY ARE YOU SO OBSESSED WITH ME??
6) There is even less green space at UTS than ever before. No really. They got rid of that green lawn behind the tower, poured concrete over it and stuck in a few plants. I did hear that an even bigger lawn is in development though so maybe that's why they decided to get rid of the somewhat-barren-and-more-yellow-than-green space.
7) There haven't been any emergency evacuations yet. But this is UTS *knock on wood*
And that's all I can come up with so far. Until next time then?
Hey guys, a thing happened.
About this time last year, I blogged about a book called Sins & Needles by Canadian author Karina Halle. If you don't remember, here's the actual blog post and this is what the book looks like:
At that time, the book had just come out and I didn't know the whole series would end up becoming a USA Today bestseller. I blogged about it like how I normally blog about most things: with really terrible, cringeworthy analogies, word vomiting and a liberal amount of gif usage. I expected a maximum number of 6 people to read my review. You guys know who you are, my oh so lovely blogging friends.
Then today, whilst recommending the book to Jess and Nancy, I tried to google my old review to harrass them with my favourite quotes.
And then I found this:
...which led to this:
Which led to an embarassingly prolonged moment of fangirlism for me.
I mean, shit brah, it's KARINA HALLE - author of the "Experiment in Terror" series - a series which I spent a whole week devouring in my house at the expense of all possible efforts of human contact from my friends. (not that that's anything new to be honest).
I told my sister about it and she just laughed at me and said that celebrities tweeted her all the time. And I guess when you step back and think about it, it really isn't that big of a deal. But I honestly never expected anyone to read this blog, let alone an author whose work I so deeply admire. It made me happy....for a little while....
And then I realised that she posted this a year ago and I'd missed a golden opportunity to schmooze myself into her exclusive literary circle. Cries. Classic Cynthia fail guys, classic Cynthia fail.
P.S. Also, I did a quick reread of my original review and OMFG I just want to shoot myself in the face. The post was rife with sentences such as this:
About this time last year, I blogged about a book called Sins & Needles by Canadian author Karina Halle. If you don't remember, here's the actual blog post and this is what the book looks like:
At that time, the book had just come out and I didn't know the whole series would end up becoming a USA Today bestseller. I blogged about it like how I normally blog about most things: with really terrible, cringeworthy analogies, word vomiting and a liberal amount of gif usage. I expected a maximum number of 6 people to read my review. You guys know who you are, my oh so lovely blogging friends.
Then today, whilst recommending the book to Jess and Nancy, I tried to google my old review to harrass them with my favourite quotes.
And then I found this:
...which led to this:
Which led to an embarassingly prolonged moment of fangirlism for me.
I mean, shit brah, it's KARINA HALLE - author of the "Experiment in Terror" series - a series which I spent a whole week devouring in my house at the expense of all possible efforts of human contact from my friends. (not that that's anything new to be honest).
I told my sister about it and she just laughed at me and said that celebrities tweeted her all the time. And I guess when you step back and think about it, it really isn't that big of a deal. But I honestly never expected anyone to read this blog, let alone an author whose work I so deeply admire. It made me happy....for a little while....
And then I realised that she posted this a year ago and I'd missed a golden opportunity to schmooze myself into her exclusive literary circle. Cries. Classic Cynthia fail guys, classic Cynthia fail.
P.S. Also, I did a quick reread of my original review and OMFG I just want to shoot myself in the face. The post was rife with sentences such as this:
So... I went in expecting a fluff read. (Because that is all I ever read - duh.) Don't get me wrong, the cover is great and all but it doesn't exactly scream, "INTELLECTUAL MATERIAL THAT WILL EXPAND YOUR HORIZONS" does it?Karina Halle read this. Karina Halle knows that I think her cover is trashy. Oh my god, what do I even do.
It's been like, a day, but beach house already feels like a dream to me. On my way to work today, I just felt so fucking depressed. I was cursing the traffic, the fugly Sydney roads, the disgustingly cloudy weather and I suppose life in general. I did not want to spend 7 hours in an office twiddling my thumbs. Neither did I want to spend the next two weeks welcoming students to university with fake smiles and exaggerated enthusiasm.
I wanted this:
...not the crushing weight of responsibilities and obligations to come rushing back.
It wasn't a perfect holiday of course. There are only so many things you can do at a beach house before you keel over from boredom. I will be happy if I never have to play Thirteen ever again. And that stupid Fifa game. My god. I have nightmares about it. But I would take boredom and restlessness over responsibility any day. I want to be able to wake up at 6:30am and just walk down to the beach to stare at the waves. I want to cook and eat breakfast with people I know and who are familiar to me (even if they're not necessarily people I am really close with). I want to spend lazy nights indoors watching people draw monobrows on each other and doing other stupid shit. I want to live and do - not think.
So now I'm back to being anxious and confused about life and the future. I know it was long overdue and that my ignorant holiday bliss wasn't going to last but damn if it isn't depressing as hell when it happens.
I wanted this:
and this:
and this:
...not the crushing weight of responsibilities and obligations to come rushing back.
It wasn't a perfect holiday of course. There are only so many things you can do at a beach house before you keel over from boredom. I will be happy if I never have to play Thirteen ever again. And that stupid Fifa game. My god. I have nightmares about it. But I would take boredom and restlessness over responsibility any day. I want to be able to wake up at 6:30am and just walk down to the beach to stare at the waves. I want to cook and eat breakfast with people I know and who are familiar to me (even if they're not necessarily people I am really close with). I want to spend lazy nights indoors watching people draw monobrows on each other and doing other stupid shit. I want to live and do - not think.
So now I'm back to being anxious and confused about life and the future. I know it was long overdue and that my ignorant holiday bliss wasn't going to last but damn if it isn't depressing as hell when it happens.
Watch it with the subtitles - it makes more sense.
(Source)
Say what you want about the Koreans but when it comes to fusion R&B and funk, they know their shit. It pains me that the moment you say you like Korean music, people immediately think you're into bubblegum kpop when in reality, there is so much more. No one thinks of the Korean electro-pop, funk, jazz or indie scene when really, that's where you get the good stuff. It's like saying that American music only revolves around Katy Perry and Lady Gaga.
But I digress. This song here is called 'Fxxk U' and it's by Ga-In of Brown Eyed Girls fame. The beat itself is funky and the video is visually arresting but as a lot of people have pointed out, that's not what makes it great. It's the fact that Ga-In has taken a taboo topic - non-consensual sex in relationships - and written this whole song about it.
Fxxk you / don't want it now / Dangyeonhan geotcheoreom ni gyeote nupgin sirheo (I don't wanna lay down next to you as if it's natural)
Korea is painfully conservative when it comes to these things. When you take a look at their mainstream music and media, a lot of the content is heavily censored. For a popular female artist to sing about a topic such as this, it takes a lot of guts (or at least a strong indifference towards public criticism). Unsurprisingly, it was banned from broadcasting by the SBS but as stated by her representatives, "We didn’t really make the song to fit the broadcast standards. We expected the song to be disqualified to some degree." Knowing how marketing and publicity works, this was probably their intent anyway as its banned status will only drive more curious people to view it online.
But anyway, that's probably too much background. When it comes down to it, the song is insanely catchy and yes the 'Fuck you' bit does sound a bit off when she sings it but you'll get used to it. Plus Joo Ji-Hoon is hot. A creepy and utterly despicable character - but hot nonetheless.
P.S. Thanks Nancy for introducing the song to me!
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